Should I Marry a Murderer? – the love story that uncovered a killer

The dilemma of love and guilt

Should I Marry a Murderer – Imagine being told that your beloved had taken a life. Would you react with calm, ethical clarity, or would your heart falter under the weight of love’s influence? Netflix’s latest true crime documentary, *Should I Marry a Murderer?*, delves into a haunting tale where such a revelation did not lead to immediate judgment but instead sparked a complex journey of loyalty and conscience. The narrative centers on Alexander McKellar, a man whose past actions would test the limits of a relationship he had recently begun.

A tragic accident and its aftermath

In 2017, McKellar, known to friends as Sandy, was involved in a fatal collision while driving under the influence of alcohol. He struck Tony Parsons, a charity cyclist, in Argyll and Bute, Scotland. The accident left Parsons critically injured, with medical professionals estimating he could have survived for up to 30 minutes without care. However, McKellar and his twin brother Robert decided to conceal the body, burying it on a remote estate. This act of deception remained hidden for three years, until McKellar’s new partner, Dr. Caroline Muirhead, stumbled upon the truth.

When director Josh Allott first learned of the case, he was struck by its surreal nature. “I thought it was the plot of a drama and couldn’t happen in real life,” he recalled. The series producer, Clare Beavis, noted the story’s significance in Scotland, stating it had “had a big impact.” Yet, she emphasized that the documentary’s unique angle lay in the inclusion of Muirhead’s perspective. “The missing part of how the story was reported was Muirhead’s testimony and her account of events,” she explained, highlighting the woman’s pivotal role in the unfolding mystery.

A whirlwind romance and a hidden past

Muirhead’s journey began with a breakup, a moment of personal upheaval that led her to seek solace in the digital world. In the autumn of 2020, she met McKellar on Tinder, and the connection quickly blossomed into a passionate relationship. Within weeks, she was engaged, a decision that now felt bittersweet in hindsight. It was during this time that she asked McKellar about his history, prompting him to reveal an incident from a few years prior: driving home from a hotel with his twin, causing a cyclist’s death but leaving the victim unattended.

The revelation shook Muirhead, yet she chose to press forward, believing love could transcend past mistakes. What she did not yet know was that the cyclist’s fate was not as certain as McKellar had claimed. The twins had returned to the scene in another vehicle, ensuring the body remained undisturbed. It was only after Muirhead’s discovery that the full extent of the crime became clear, forcing her to confront the gravity of her partner’s actions.

Love’s test and moral complexity

Muirhead’s internal conflict became a focal point for the documentary, capturing the emotional tension of a love story intertwined with guilt. “The dilemma is impossible not to imagine in your own relationship,” Allott observed, noting how the scenario resonated with viewers as a terrifying, almost unreal scenario. The film explores how love can blur the lines between right and wrong, making it hard to decide whether to stay or leave when the truth is finally revealed.

After learning of McKellar’s crime, Muirhead made a choice that would define her story. Rather than ending the relationship, she continued it while secretly reporting the incident to the police. This dual life—maintaining a romantic bond while aiding an investigation—adds layers of intrigue. She recorded confessions on her phone, dropped a Red Bull can as a marker at the burial site, and later guided officers to the location. The act of betrayal and cooperation became a silent dance of loyalty and duty, all while McKellar remained unaware of her role.

Despite her efforts to keep the secret, the truth could not be hidden forever. Three years after the initial confession, McKellar was sentenced to prison. During this period, Muirhead faced the challenge of balancing her emotions with her responsibilities. “She expected the brothers to be remanded in custody, face trial and be in prison forever,” Allott said, “but they were thrust back into her life.” This unexpected reunion tested her resolve, as she navigated the uncertain months alone, exposed to the weight of her partner’s guilt.

A life on the edge of crime

Muirhead’s personal struggle is further underscored by her professional background. As a pathologist with eight years of medical training, she had once envisioned a future of stability and success. Yet, the discovery of McKellar’s crime shattered that path. “She had her whole life on track and after meeting Sandy and hearing what he did, everything falls apart,” Beavis noted, highlighting the duality of her role as both a victim and a witness.

The documentary also examines the police’s handling of Muirhead’s situation. Allott argued that the authorities struggled to connect with her, leaving her in a vulnerable position. “They didn’t know how to handle Caroline,” he said, suggesting that her experience could have been different if the police had shown more empathy. This dynamic raises questions about how justice is perceived and delivered when it involves someone deeply connected to the accused.

Love, guilt, and the cost of truth

Muirhead’s journey is not just about uncovering a killer but also about the personal toll of her decision. She candidly discusses how she turned to alcohol and drugs to cope with the emotional strain of the situation. The documentary’s producers, Allott and Beavis, aim to present a balanced account, emphasizing the psychological impact of being on the periphery of a crime without direct involvement. “What being on the periphery of crime but not involved can do to someone’s life,” Beavis said, “is what this series ultimately seeks to explore.”

As the story unfolds, it becomes clear that Muirhead’s actions were driven by a mix of compassion and fear. Her secret collaboration with the police, combined with her ongoing relationship with McKellar, paints a picture of a woman caught between love and justice. The film invites viewers to reflect on their own choices in similar circumstances, asking whether the bonds of affection can ever outweigh the weight of a crime. In the end, *Should I Marry a Murderer?* is not just a true crime story—it is a profound meditation on the power of love to alter our perception of right and wrong, and the courage it takes to confront the truth when it threatens everything we hold dear.

“The dilemma is impossible not to imagine in your own relationship, it makes you think about what would you do in her position as it’s a terrifying, nightmare scenario.”

The twins were arrested in December 2020 but released on bail, with formal charges filed in December 2021. Muirhead’s quiet persistence during the investigation, and her willingness to sacrifice personal happiness for justice, becomes a central theme. Her story is one of resilience, a testament to how love can both complicate and strengthen our moral compass. The documentary leaves audiences questioning whether they would have made the same choices, and whether the line between a lover and a criminal can ever be truly crossed.