Solitude as a new aspirational lifestyle: ‘We are not lonely’
The Rise of Solitude as a Desired Way of Life
Constantvpn.com – On social media platforms, videos depicting the tranquility of living independently have gained considerable traction. One particular scene captures a Friday evening when a young professional returns home following her workday. She walks into a clean kitchen, puts away groceries, and places a frozen pizza into the oven. Her evening unfolds with quiet regularity: she ignites a candle, looks out at snow blanketing the view beyond her window, arranges a pre-made salad alongside the pizza, and relaxes on her couch while watching television. The accompanying caption describes this moment as representing a single, childless woman without friends who resides by herself and enjoys this peaceful routine.
The video, created by Lana Isa, has accumulated approximately seven million views across TikTok. Currently in her twenties, Isa works as a software sales manager and calls Toronto home. Beyond documenting her evening self-care practices, she shares various moments with her nearly 400,000 followers across both TikTok and Instagram platforms. These include midnight fast food excursions, reading sessions beside a lakeside rock, and a memorable story about being locked outside her apartment during nighttime hours.
Embracing a Life Without Close Friends
Isa belongs to an expanding yet specialized segment of online creators—predominantly women—who highlight their solitary living arrangements. Rather than viewing isolation negatively, they present it as a deliberate choice that values calm and personal space. For Isa, mentioning her lack of friends was not merely a catchy phrase but reflected her genuine experience over multiple years.
“People don’t talk about having no friends a lot… I think it’s still what people would consider embarrassing or a little taboo,” she explains.
After transferring between several high schools, experiencing pandemic-related separation during university, and relocating following an emotional breakup, Isa gradually adapted to independent living without close companionship. When she began posting about this aspect of her life online, viewers started connecting with her story. Her TikTok audience grew from roughly 2,000 followers to over 175,000 within eight months.
“It was eye-opening to see other people who are living the same situation that I’ve been… and to feel like I could kind of relate to people for the first time in a while.”
Comments sections became spaces where people shared similar experiences of solitude and found validation in being understood. However, as with many viral trends, attention eventually brought criticism. Isa and fellow creators received labels such as “loneliness influencers,” with some portraying them as representatives of a new generation of isolated, childless women experiencing emotional struggles. Critics suggested these creators might be glorifying withdrawal and promoting passive acceptance of limited social interaction.
Reframing Solitude as Strength
Yet their content reveals a lifestyle that resonates with many more people than critics acknowledge. These women enjoy solo outings, spontaneous journeys, and navigate the discomfort of social gatherings without companions. Devon Noehring, a full-time content creator and self-described introvert living in Phoenix, Arizona, finds it frustrating that her peaceful weekends spent cooking and relaxing at home with her dog get interpreted as signs of female loneliness.
“It’s the exact opposite intention of our videos,” Noehring states. “I just hate the stigma of alone equalling lonely.”
Although Noehring maintains a close circle of friends, she grew up feeling embarrassed about her quiet nature and social anxiety. Only after openly discussing her insecurities online did she discover a community of introverts who recognized her challenges.
“Being alone is where I feel my most free and most like myself,” she reflects. “That’s how I recharge, and I feel very proud of myself for being independent and doing things alone… I think it’s something that should be celebrated.”
Health researchers have also contributed to reducing the stigma around loneliness by distinguishing between involuntary isolation caused by external circumstances and voluntary solitude chosen by individuals with full agency. The conversation continues to evolve as more people recognize that choosing to spend time alone does not necessarily mean feeling disconnected from the world.
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