I shouldn’t have been made to visit abusive killer mum

I shouldn t have been made – Kelly Higgins, a 40-year-old woman, has voiced her desire for legislative reform to strip abusive parents of their rights to interact with their children. Higgins shared her experience of being subjected to emotional and physical torment by her birth mother, Bernadette McNeilly, who was imprisoned in 1993 for her role in the brutal murder of Suzanne Capper, a 16-year-old babysitter from Moston, Manchester. Despite McNeilly’s incarceration, she retained the ability to influence key decisions in the lives of her children, including whether they could travel abroad or undergo minor medical procedures like ear piercing. This ongoing access, Higgins argues, allowed McNeilly to exert control and perpetuate abuse, even after her crimes had been established.

The tragic case of Suzanne Capper, who died in 1993, remains a central part of McNeilly’s criminal history. Alongside five others, McNeilly was responsible for confining Capper to their home, subjecting her to severe torture that included burning, tooth extraction, and starvation before ultimately dousing her in petrol and setting her ablaze. The incident, which unfolded at Werneth Low, Stockport, saw Capper dragged from a car and left to suffer 70% burns, a fate that claimed her life shortly after. McNeilly, then 24, received a life sentence for her involvement, yet her parental role continued to shape the lives of her children. Higgins, then seven years old, and her younger brother James, five at the time, were regularly exposed to the same patterns of abuse that had led to Capper’s death.

According to Higgins, her mother’s abusive behavior extended beyond the violent acts against Capper. She described being tied to chairs, struck with belts, and enduring physical assaults that left visible scars on her body. These incidents, she claims, were not only frequent but also occurred in public, prompting reports to social services and police. However, despite the documented abuse, McNeilly was never formally charged with harming her own children. “She had the power to decide what happened to us, even after she was locked up,” Higgins said. “It was like she could still control our lives from behind bars.”

When the children were eventually placed with foster families, McNeilly’s influence did not disappear. Higgins explained that her mother maintained a form of emotional leverage, alternating between cruelty and affection to manipulate her children’s sense of loyalty. “You sit on her knee and she strokes your hair, and suddenly you don’t want to leave,” she recalled. “Even when you’re scared, there’s this strange bond that makes you feel like you’re still connected to her.”

Sue Williams, the foster mother who cared for Higgins and her brother, shared her perspective on the ongoing visits between the children and their birth mother. “It was tears going in and tears coming out,” she said. “You have to feel the pain of both sides. We tried to convince her that it was her mum, but the experience was always heart-wrenching.” Williams emphasized that fostering the children required not only compassion but also a constant battle between protecting them from abuse and allowing them to maintain a relationship with their mother. “These visits kept the child in a state of conflict,” she noted. “They wanted to stay, but they were also terrified of what might happen.”

While the Ministry of Justice (MoJ) asserted that protecting children is its “absolute priority,” Higgins questioned whether the current system adequately addresses the harm caused by abusive parents. She pointed out that although the MoJ has introduced measures to limit parental responsibility in cases involving serious offenses, these changes do not fully eliminate the risk of continued abuse. “The foster carers are still dragging these kids to see someone who hurt them,” she said. “That’s not just a visit—it’s a daily reminder of their trauma.”

McNeilly’s case is emblematic of a broader issue: the legal framework that allows abusive parents to retain visitation rights even after being convicted of violent crimes. Higgins argued that this system perpetuates cycles of harm, as children are forced to confront the very individuals who have caused them suffering. “You can’t say a child is safe if they have to see the person who abused them,” she said. “It keeps hurting them, even years after the initial violence.”

The MoJ’s Victims and Courts Bill aims to address this by automatically restricting parental responsibility in cases of rape and serious child sexual offenses with sentences of four years or more. However, Higgins believes these reforms fall short of fully safeguarding children from abusive figures. “These kids have cigarette burns and scars on their faces,” she said. “They’ve got answers for every mark, but they’re still forced to face the abuser.”

In response to ongoing concerns, the government has pledged to enact new legislation that would remove parental rights from those convicted of killing a child. This measure, Higgins said, could help prevent future cases where abusive parents continue to influence their offspring. However, critics argue that the delay in implementing these changes reflects a lack of urgency in addressing the systemic issues within family court law. “They’re still based on the idea that both parents are beneficial to a child’s well-being,” Higgins added. “But what if one parent is a source of constant pain?”

Greater Manchester Police, while unable to comment specifically on Higgins’ case, stated they are “tirelessly working to support victims of non-recent child abuse.” The force highlighted the complexity of such investigations, which often require uncovering past abuses that may have gone unnoticed for years. “These cases are challenging, but we’re committed to giving children a voice,” a spokesperson said. “Every report matters, and every child deserves to be free from harm.”

Higgins’ advocacy has sparked a conversation about the need for stricter laws to protect children from abusive parents. She believes that transferring parental rights to foster families would not only provide immediate safety but also encourage more individuals to step forward as caregivers. “Sue and Pete’s love for me is why I am who I am today,” she said. “Without that support, I don’t know where I would be.”

As the debate continues, the case of Bernadette McNeilly and her children serves as a powerful reminder of the lasting impact of abuse. Even after being jailed for her role in a murder, McNeilly’s ability to influence her children’s lives highlights the gaps in the legal system. Higgins’ story underscores the importance of reevaluating the balance between parental rights and child welfare, ensuring that no child is forced to endure the emotional toll of reconnecting with an abuser.

With the government moving toward legislative changes, the hope is that future children will not have to face the same struggles. However, until these reforms are fully implemented, the question remains: how can we ensure that the rights of abusive parents do not overshadow the needs of their children?