‘I adore her now’: Mother learns to cope with child’s autism in a country with little help

Martha Ongwane now gazes at her daughter Rachael with affection, unable to recall the despair that once gripped her. Two years ago, the four-year-old’s non-verbal behavior, biting tendencies, and restless energy overwhelmed Martha, leading her to consider ending her child’s life. At the time, she had poured poison into a cup, intending for Rachael to drink it. “I told myself it would be better if she died because that would mean she would rest and that would be the end of our problems,” Martha recalls softly, her hands trembling as she speaks. Yet her heart refused to let her go through with it, and she wept uncontrollably, choosing to cherish her daughter instead.

A lifeline in Mzuzu

Today, Rachael and Martha share a quiet, loving moment in their home in Mzuzu, northern Malawi. The girl laughs as she climbs onto her mother’s lap, hugging her face while Martha prepares lunch—nsima, a maize-based porridge. This remarkable shift was largely due to the family gaining access to specialized care. During a visit to Mzuzu Central Hospital, Rachael was referred to Saint John of God, a nonprofit organization that supports children with disabilities. Funded primarily by the Catholic Church, it offers community-based mental health services and a school for children with special educational needs, becoming a crucial resource for Martha and her husband.

Stigma and misunderstanding

In Malawi, autism is often misunderstood. The term doesn’t exist in the widely spoken Chichewa language, where it is typically translated as “ozelezeka” (someone with a mental challenge) or “ofuntha” (a troublesome person). Many believe autism stems from witchcraft, particularly during pregnancy. In a nearby community center, Christian and Muslim leaders gathered for an autism awareness session, sharing their beliefs about the condition. A vicar with a large gold cross around his neck asserted that people can bewitch one another, while another man claimed magic was used against pregnant women, causing autism in children.

Christopher Mhone of Saint John of God acknowledges the lack of understanding but uses these sessions to challenge misconceptions. He highlights how practical interventions can ease the challenges of autism, noting that Martha’s story reflects a deeper failure. “For a woman to come to a point where she feels she should kill her child—this shows the nation has failed her,” Mhone says. “Her burden became so unbearable that she lacked the emotional strength to cope.”

A global struggle

Autism affects over 60 million people worldwide, according to the World Health Organization. It is a neurodevelopmental disorder that influences communication, social interaction, and perception. While symptoms vary, many autistic individuals exhibit traits like intense focus, strong memory, and creative thinking. However, in countries like Malawi, where mental health resources are scarce, only those with severe behavioral challenges are recognized, often leading to stigma and discrimination.

Malawi has just two developmental paediatricians and three consultant psychiatrists for its population of over 22 million. Most autism support comes from NGOs and charities, as government-run programs remain limited. Despite these hurdles, Martha’s experience offers hope, illustrating how access to care can transform despair into love and resilience.