How Toone is navigating grief through football

How Toone is navigating grief through – Ella Toone’s upcoming wedding in the summer will feature one less person in the front row. The England and Manchester United midfielder is set to exchange vows without her father, Nick, who had been a constant presence in her life and a cornerstone of her football journey. His absence is not just a personal loss but a symbolic shift in her career, as she continues to channel his legacy into every match she plays. This emotional backdrop is explored in a new BBC documentary, *24 Hours with Ella Toone*, where she shares her experiences of coping with grief while maintaining her role as a professional athlete and a trailblazer for women’s football.

The Heartbeat of Her Game

For years, Nick was more than just a parent to Toone—he was the emotional engine behind her success. His dedication to her career was evident in the way he would watch and analyze her matches, often calling her after games for a detailed review. “He was obsessed,” Toone recalls. “He loved women’s football more than anything, even more than the men’s game. He knew all the players, he cared deeply about where I was in my journey, the team I played for, and the way we approached the sport.” His passion extended beyond the pitch; he was a regular fixture in pubs, discussing her progress and the women’s game with anyone who would listen. “He would go into any pub and talk about women’s football and about me,” she says, highlighting how his support was both personal and public.

Toone credits Nick as the “main reason” she reached the level she has. His belief in her potential was unshakable, even before she became a professional. “He was probably one of the first people who truly saw my talent,” she reflects. The father-daughter bond was defined by football. “Me and dad were always about the game,” she explains. “It was our shared language, our way of connecting.” This connection became even more poignant as the 26-year-old’s career began to take off, with her father’s presence a steady source of encouragement. However, the joy of her achievements was tinged with an unspoken sorrow that would soon become all-consuming.

A Diagnosis and a Departure

The emotional weight of her father’s passing hit Toone with unexpected force. She learned of Nick’s illness just days after Manchester United secured a historic FA Cup victory in May 2024. “I feel like every time I won something, something bad followed,” she admits. The news of his diagnosis came as a quiet surprise, shared only with his wife, Karen, and his brother. Nick’s determination to keep his family’s lives normal, even as his health declined, became a central theme in Toone’s reflections. “He didn’t want anyone to worry about him,” she says, recalling how he masked his struggles with unwavering positivity.

Tragically, Nick passed away three days before his 60th birthday in September 2024—just five months after Toone turned 25. His death left a void that she filled by returning to training the very next day. “I went straight back into football because I knew that’s what he would have wanted,” she says. The first game after his passing was at Old Trafford, where she struggled to process the loss. “It was really tough, but I felt like I needed to play,” she explains. “I couldn’t just sit around and dwell on it. I needed to be out there, doing what he believed in.” Despite the pain, she found solace in the familiar rhythm of the game, knowing it was a way to honor his memory.

Processing Loss Through Pause

Yet, the emotional strain of continuing to play without her father was overwhelming. It wasn’t until a calf injury in November 2024 forced her to take a break that she began to truly grieve. “I think my body was telling me to stop before I would have had a mental breakdown,” Toone says. The forced hiatus allowed her to step back and reflect, leading her to seek support from a counsellor and take a much-needed holiday in Dubai. “It was good for me and for my family,” she adds. “Matchdays had always been their time with dad, and now it was just me, trying to keep the memories alive.”

During her time away, Toone’s focus shifted. She found clarity in the moments of stillness, using them to rebuild her emotional foundation. “I didn’t process the grief at first,” she says. “I was putting so much pressure on myself to perform, to score for him. I wasn’t letting myself relax and enjoy the game.” The injury became a catalyst for change, helping her balance the demands of her career with the need to heal personally.

Legacy and New Beginnings

When Toone returned to action in January 2025, Manchester United’s 7-0 FA Cup victory marked a significant moment in her recovery. Her standout long-range strike, which she later described as “decent” but was ultimately voted the team’s goal of the season, symbolized her resilience. “I pointed to the sky in tribute,” she recalls. “That was my way of honoring him, of saying, ‘This is for you, Dad.’” Every goal she scores now carries a dual significance—dedicated to her father and serving as a testament to the progress he helped inspire in women’s football.

As she moves forward, Toone emphasizes the importance of carrying Nick’s legacy into the future. “He was a pioneer for women’s football,” she says. “His belief in me helped shape the path I’m on, and now I want to ensure that path continues for others.” Her father’s influence is not just personal but also professional, as she aims to inspire the next generation of players. The documentary captures this transformation, showing how grief has become a driving force rather than a barrier. “Every goal I score now, I dedicate to him,” she says. “It’s a relief, but it’s also a reminder of how much he meant to me.”

Joe Bunney, Toone’s fiancé, has been a vital support system throughout her journey. Their relationship, which began as a romantic partnership, has deepened into a bond of mutual strength. Bunney, who faced his own grief after losing Nick to his best friend, has become a pillar for Toone’s family. “He was a rock for us,” she says. Their shared grief has united them in purpose, with Bunney taking on Nick’s dream of establishing a girls’ football academy. “He was passionate about creating opportunities for young girls,” Toone notes. “Now, with my support, that vision is becoming a reality.”

Looking back, Toone acknowledges the profound impact of her father’s passing. “It’s changed how I approach the game,” she says. “I’m not just playing for myself anymore—I’m playing for him, for the legacy he built, and for the future he believed in.” The journey through grief has not only shaped her personal growth but also solidified her role as a leader in women’s football. As she prepares for her wedding, the empty chair is a powerful reminder of the love and dedication that continues to fuel her every step.