He was in his 90s – I never imagined he would sexually assault me

I used to believe that if I ever faced sexual assault, I would confront the perpetrator with courage. But when it finally happened, I was frozen in place, unable to form a single word. The 90-something-year-old man—once a figure of wisdom and trust—smiled at me, his expression smug, as if savoring the moment I crumpled under his touch. His lips brushed against his teeth, a gesture that felt rehearsed, almost lizard-like in its practiced ease.

During lockdown, when the entire country was confined to our homes, it struck me that life wasn’t a dress rehearsal. I had fallen for acting at five, dreaming of training in Los Angeles with a revered instructor. For years, I postponed that goal, distracted by career demands. But a few years ago, I realized I couldn’t keep delaying something I cared about so deeply. His age, I thought, was an advantage—his experience seemed a guarantee of quality.

On my first day, I met the teacher and his assistant. Together, we entered the studio, which was empty save for us. The session began with familiar exercises: observation, memory, and basics of performance. His behavior was unremarkable, even comforting. But as the lesson neared its end, he proposed a new activity. He nodded softly, directing me to close my eyes and repeat his name whenever something occurred.

“I stood there, eyes shut and waiting—when suddenly his hand shot down, hard and fast, straight inside my jumper.”

His assistant, a man in his 30s, watched silently, his gaze averted as I struggled to process what had just happened. The act was embedded in the exercise, making it feel less like an assault and more like a natural progression. I hesitated to confront him, overwhelmed by shame and the weight of his authority.

Later, he invited me to continue with six private lessons. I imagined learning something profound, something timeless. Yet, after the incident, I questioned his intentions. When I finally left, the reality of what had transpired hit me, and I broke down in tears. The image of him as a mentor felt shattered, replaced by a sense of violation. His respected career and mention of his wife only deepened the confusion about his actions.

On November 25, 2024, Metrolaunched This Is Not Right, a campaign to spotlight the ongoing crisis of violence against women. Partnering with Women’s Aid, the initiative aimed to reveal the scale of this national emergency. You can find more articles here, and if you wish to share your story, contact them at vaw@metro.co.uk.

Victim Support provides assistance to those affected by rape and sexual abuse. Reach out at 0333 300 6389 for help. Reflecting on the event, I wondered if age shaped older men’s behavior, but growing up in a different era doesn’t excuse sexual assault. I canceled further sessions, staying in LA for another month before returning home. A week later, an email arrived asking why I hadn’t attended my second lesson. I couldn’t believe he assumed I’d return after the trauma.